We are "fine" (2/28/13)

      All day I have been thinking about what I was going to write in my next post. I won't lie about how stressed and worried I get about how Eric is doing sometimes. He is still very anemic. Sleeps quite a bit. Gets pretty dizzy. Mouth sores are starting. Has numbness. He hasn't complained of ringing of his ears...maybe he is used to it but I know he has a hard time hearing me because I have to repeat myself a lot. Last week he had sharp pains from his spleen. Not too much nausea but zero appetite.
      I know Eric gets sick of me asking him what he wants to eat but I want to give him a chance to tell me if anything remotely sounds good or doesn't. Lots of the time I don't mind eating leftovers but something new is more appealing to him. I greatly appreciate ward members and friends for bringing us meals. I'm thankful for the time and effort they put into bringing us dinners. It has helped take some stress off me and let me enjoy more family time with Eric and Tayvia and less time cooking and doing dishes. I feel so blessed to have had plenty of food through all of this.
      Eric's anemia has worried me the most lately. He complains that he hates sleeping all the time and how boring it is. He doesn't eat or drink very much because he sleeps so much. Being the worried wife that I am I called his doctor office to see if there was any chance that he could get a transfusion. I mean they held off doing a transfusion last time his count was low and the following week  was terrible. I just didn't want to re-live that. Eric just isn't getting better so why not give him a transfusion? It could only do good right. The triage nurse at UCS spoke to Dr. C and he said that they don't normally give patients a transfusion when their red blood cell count is 27. However, if Eric doesn't feel like he is doing well and wants a transfusion then he can get one. I'm not sure if Eric has a high tolerance for not feeling well or is just used to it but he said he doesn't want one. "I'm fine" I'm praying his body can build up those red blood cells on its own quickly. His white blood cell count went up so that's good. I thought for sure he would need to get a booster to help get them going again. Anyway, it seems like he has to deal with so much, but I think he really is doing okay and is being so strong through all of this.
     Me.... "I'm fine" too. I get asked all the time how I am doing. I'm not trying to put on a front like everything is happy go lucky because this is a very difficult trial to go through. Even if I'm not the one with cancer I am fighting this battle right along Eric's side. I know that everyone is sincere about really wanting to know how I am doing through all of this. My answer is the same every time. Just taking it day by day. Because that is what I am doing. Just taking each day as it comes. Some are good others hard but I just have to stay strong because we are almost done with chemo treatments. I do need to have some ME time ASAP. Hopefully soon I'll have time to schedule a few things that I need and want to do so that I can stop worrying about them. I need to remember that I can't take care of anyone else unless I take care of myself too.

     Now I don't want this to be a depressing post because life really isn't that bad. I mean Eric is alive right. Can I get an AMEN. Hallelujah. Praise The Lord. Haha ok anyway, today we went for a drive. Eric wanted to get out of the county so I took him through a few. First stop though was Chick-fil-A. We were not sure if we were going to cancel the outing because Eric had a hot flash and was nauseous, but he pulled through and we were on our way. I timed it so Tayvia would be taking her nap during the drive. Tayvia is pretty good in the car but I wasn't sure how long we were going for. We headed up to Park City and drove down Main Street. It always brings back good memories of when we first met. I won't get mushy on you though. We headed over to Kamas and through a few other small towns and luckily made it back to I-80 and home. Miss Tayvia woke up going back down Parleys and was ready for lunch when we got home. It was good to get out of the house!