We cant direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

Sometimes life is dang hard! It's hard to imagine what life would have been like if Eric didn't get sick. Part of me wishes that it never happened. Part of me, to be honest, wish that it ended differently to save me from daily reminders of the after affects and hardships. But then guilt and shame set in. Grief is a liar and I wouldn't have certain people in my life if it had gone differently. 

We can't choose our trials. And consequences naturally follow them whether good or bad. Even without major illnesses marriage is not always rainbows and sunshine. Neither is raising kids. Thankfully with the ebbs and flows of life we can find ways to help us not merely go through the motions but make the most of them. Thank goodness for therapy and medication am I right?

A little more on my rambling thoughts at 1:13am later lol

I've never gotten a picture of Eric and his oncologist together before. I finally got one pap style. Nitin gets us and sincerely cares about Eric's wellbeing. 

He is also really funny. His first question for Eric was, "Are you taking your medicine? Because if you are not I give your wife full permission to kick you A**!" (Only one more week and he can drive again!🙌🏻)

Eric asked Dr. C if he was one his greatest successes. He said as far as testicular cancer goes, yes. Dr. C remembers seeing Eric for the very first time & thinking Holy Sh** this dude is sick. He knew right away that Eric would need to receive treatment IN the hospital the next day.

Eric had his yearly checkup with him the day before we left for our trip over Labor Day weekend. 

As far as cancer goes everything checks out. We will see him again in a year.

We had a really fun time surprising the kids with a little night just us and had the best time swimming at Lava Hot Springs

We made a little detour in Blackfoot, ID to the potato museum. When you walked in it literally smelled starchy lol The kids and I love a good gift shop. 

Unfortunately during the couple hours that we had before checking into our next Airbnb Eric had another episode. LITERALLY less than 24 hours before he was going to be free to drive. 
To say that we were devastated was an understatement. Thankfully Eric's epilepsy doctor gave us some medicine that helps stop the seizure. E still took a nap after to sleep it off and when he woke up he was a lot better. No lingering headache or anything so that was good at least.  

These episodes leave me in distress if I'm being honest. While making sure Eric is taken care of it's hard to take care of the kids at the same time. Unloading the car and figuring out which room we were going to sleep in... I could hardly keep it together. I carry a heavy load on my shoulders. I try to bear it well but it's honestly suffocating. I feel as though I have no choice but to grit my teeth and truck along.
By being open about this I'm not looking for pity and I don't want to be babied or coddled. I'm just trying to navigate this crazy thing we call life.

Family date nights are our favorites!

He prefers playing with the kids over getting chores done around the house.

He gives the best hugs & is supportive.

He loves a good nap.

He is also always up for an adventure.

Because of his hearing loss and slower cognitive abilities he often needs things repeated or explained so he can understand you.

I'm working on understanding that no one is perfect and everyone does things at their pace.

It drives me crazy when people call us a power couple or tell me that I'm so strong. You never know how strong you have to be until being strong is the only option.
We aren't perfect. But we are trying.